Rescuing the (Polar) Bears

I have spent the past few days valiantly defending my fellow traders at AIG, using even this pathetic blog for that purpose at some point. Given the readership though, I'd have been better off sending the essay off as smoke signals. It was most definitely a waste of time and key-strokes. I would stop here but some people would also insist that it is a waste of energy and that I just killed twenty three polar bears, and seventeen arctic foxes in defense of those ingrates at AIG. These are the sort of people who send their kids to school in a bus and dawdle around the city in those horrendous looking priuses (Don't know what the guy who designed that was smoking, but it sure must have been good. Or maybe that was a prerequisite when Toyota were hiring a guy to design the car(t), since the only people who would have bought it were wannabe hippies who were born a few decades too late). Unfortunately, the city is full of such people, and one keeps running into them every now and then. Worse still, Obama ran into one the other day, and thought you know what lets make him the Energy Secretary.

And this, my dear friend, is how Dr. Steven Chu became the lateste Energy Secretary. At this point I have to move away from the main point of this post (what is it anyway? does it even exist?). The thing is I respect Steve a lot. Back in the 80's he beat a bunch of people I like to finding a way to cool and trap atoms with a laser. A neat trick I must say, and lot of others must agree since they also gave him a Nobel for it. After that he also did some great work in biological and polymer physics. But somewhere down the line Steve got into some bad company. He started thinking of the polar bears and arctic foxes, the emperor penguins and laughing hyenas, the holes in ozone and Exxon Valdez.

And as these things usually develop, Stevie became convinced that the end of the world was near. That we were driving the bear cubs and the dutch to their watery graves, and soon enough New York will be hit by a 100 ft Tsunami and Bombay will be a part of sub-saharan Africa. I wouldn't mind if he just stopped here just like I don't mind the financial analysts predicting economic apocalypse, in fact there is a funny resemblance between these two species of men. They both like to predict things knowing full well that in all likelihood they will be wrong. And yes, psephologists, lets add them to the list as well, although they are a rather harmless bunch. 

Back to the non-existent point. So Dr. Chu. So he wants to play superman and save the world. Let's punish the polluters!!! ha! you rotten scum, you use coal, dont you have the money to make it from wind or waves? you are all gonna die. har har .... uhm well, hang on a bit, we don't have any jurisdiction over China yet? Nobody told me that. What? They are going to drive our businesses into oblivion. You hear the diabolical laughter of Mr. Xie? No you don't, stop messing with me. They won't do that will they, those nice little chaps, my ancestors used to be one of them, did you know that? Alright Alright I believe you.

So hows this? let's impose carbon duties on them. After all we are democrats aren't we? The president will love it, what a pretext to impose trade restrictions. I love this! Super Chu to the rescue.

Well, I don't know about the 100ft tsunamis, but if thats not enough to drown the New Yorkers this will definitely do it.